TITIK NYAMAN HIDUP

Titik nyaman hidup itu waktu ga perlu mikir dan khawatir cuma untuk memastikan semuanya bakal baik – baik saja. Simple karena memang belum bisa mikir dan belum bisa ngerti khawatir itu sebenarnya apa. When was it? Childhood? I don’t think so. Saya rasa waktu kita masih janin bentuknya :)

And then the childhood came. We start to feel the inconvenience. Tapi kita cuma perlu menangis, and then the helps will come. Most of the time, the only thing we need to do to solve our problem is crying :)

Then we grew up. Become an adult. We think too much, wanting too much and worry too much. We cried quietly, hoping our inconvenience will disappear as we crying. But off course not. And then we start analyzing, find the way out, read motivation book, and yeah say a little prayer maybe. Then we try to reach the convenience spot by covering our self with the good look.

Next, we getting old. I don’t know what happens next. Entah lah.. I haven't arrived to that part yet..

I have no interest on what they're talking about

It's 10.30 am and I'm having my coffee at one of coffee shop near my boarding house while browsing for publisher for my sister new novel. I'm not in my best look right now. Ok I admit that I really looked horrible right now. Something happened to my eyes. Yaa.. it's started with a small node at the up side of my eyes and then finally my eyes get rankling. And now I try to cover it with my hair. Yes I look like Genduruwo (I even don't know if I wrote it right), one of ghost in Indonesia's myth who always cover his/her (I don't know the gender) with the hair.

And then a young woman came. With a neat dress and just like the other "mba2 kantoran" she has a notebook bag with her and look at me like I'm really the true genduruwo. She order two set of breakfast. Quite obvious she has someone else will join her in a minute. And then a man come. He starts the conversation with cheapy talks about how the girl knows him so much as she ordered his fav coffee and breakfast menu. Eurrgghhh... (Am I sounded envious? ;p). And they start talking about office. About how the man become so busy bcoz the auditors are at his office right now (I can't help my self for not smiling) and many things all related to office life. Talking bout their friends who moved to the other bigger company and bla..bla..bla...

Well I'm not interested on what they are talking about right now. I put on the earphone but sadly I do not play any songs. I click the new browser tab on my mac and open the blogspot page start writing. A week ago I still sat down on my chair at the corner table at my office. A big company, with very good position and bright career path. Simply I dropped it bcoz I do not enjoy it anymore and I wanna try to do something else that makes me happy. Yes it's a combination of not enjoying what I'm doing and work pressure and load I guess. But it's weird that something that you have prepared for a whole year can be "shaked" by a week full of surprises and eye opening experiences. Seems like I was hit with a brick but rather than makes me feel hurt only, it also helps me to wake up and able to see clearly. It's about compromising. That you can't have what you want 100% just by one decision. It's a long journey with sacrifices. It's easy when you the only one player, but when it involves people you love, the story will be different. I also shud admit, that my heart is not that strong yet. The surprises come one by one this last two weeks help me to realize that I still need a few more time. But it's just weird they come at the last minute. Oh.. maybe it just to make the drama more dramatic I guess. Well, I do what I gotta do. Stand up again, clean up the mess and hope for the best. That life won't stop just bcoz feel pity on me. They still running with constant speed like usual. Yeah, they owe me nothing. They do not have any responsibility to wait for me.

The heart warmer, thanks God I still have them. A few people who support me always and teach me to still hold the dreams. It's not over yet they said. You just need to stand up again and make some compromises. Hey be thankfull. You've got a wonderfull life so far. Full of blessed. You just can't have what you want 100% in a click. I'm thinking about the offering right now. To live abroad with my brother. Far from parents and my sister. Share and entrust the dreams I've had here to people I trust. Huff... I don't know... I still need some more time I guess.

Ok, I've made a too much random notes I guess ;p What I do right now should be browsing the publisher and design the name card. But I ends up with writing. Like always :)

- SBO Sbux on Thursday -

RANDOM

Random thought came across my mind while having my late alone day.

-Around Marina Bay, March 3rd-

LOVE LETTER, STALKING, IMPULSIVE

I just hit the new number! What’s so special about it? I don’t know actually. Tapi saya bersyukur, sampai tahun segini masih dikasi kesempatan buat mikir dengan bener (kayanya), masih bisa jalanin hidup dengan orang – orang yang disayang (keluarga, teman, pacar), hati masih bisa seneng masih bisa sedih (yang artinya masih berfungsi dengan baik. Halah!!) dan yang terpenting masih dikasi kesempatan untuk makin bahagia n ngebagi seneng itu ke orang lain. Ahhhh…

Now, as I have a birthday cake beside me (iye, bener – bener kue ulang tahun. Td sengaja beli buat diri sendiri *joget joget*) sedikit maksain diri buat nulis. Write anything that becomes my major thought, feeling or whatever right now. And they are: LOVE LETTER, STALKING, IMPULSIVE.

LOVE LETTER

Awal januari kemarin saya submit love letter buat kedua kalinya. Kalau diurut – urut panjang nih ceritanya. Intinya emang ga suka ngaudit. Dari dulu mimpi pingin bisa punya usaha sendiri. Simple karena memang saya berasa ga cocok kerja buat orang lain (ogah jadi anak buah pinginnya jadi bos ;p), mimpinya saya memang bisa bangun lapangan kerja buat orang lain plus saya pingin bisa traveling kapan aja tanpa harus pusing ama jadwal cuti and ijin bos. Semua yang pernah saya pinginin banget kaya sekolah lagi and kerja di NGO sebenarnya ujung – ujungnya sama. Bahwa in the end saya mau punya usaha sendiri. Saya pingin bikin UKM. Bisa bantu orang – orang ngasi lapangan kerja. Terutama mereka yang ga mampu. Saya pingin punya penghasilan yang lebih dari sekedar kerja kantoran. Saya pingin bisa traveling kapan aja n motret sepuas saya. Huffff…. N finally, enegnya udah ga bisa ditawar lagi. Enough is enough. Hampir 5 tahun jadi auditor, dan saya bangga bisa ngejalanin di dua tempat yang terbaik :) dengan hasil yang sangat baik. Life is short. Do what you want to do and do it often :) Well, I’ll write more about it later. It’s already too late and I’m kind of sleepy.

STALKING

Euughhhhh…. No comment!! Stop it stop it stop it!!!!!! :D But I thought I getting better now :) I have that talent! Ditambah pengalaman 5 tahun jadi auditor able to make me becomes a very good stalker!!! But honestly, I do it not so often lately ;p

IMPULSIVE

Ahhh… Ini jarang – jarang kookkk.. tapi masih berasa jleb tiap inget how I become so impulsive ‘bout having French class. Semangat banget diawalnya karena penasaran. Tapi baru datang kelasnya 3 kali uda hilang penasarannya. Jadi sekarang bolos ga pernah masuk sama sekali lagi :D :D Padahl course fee-nya ditambah 100rb udah bisa beli make up kit PAC professional edition ;p

So, enough for now :) Saya mau tiup lilin and make a wish dulu :D