It's 10.30 am and I'm having my coffee at one of coffee shop near my boarding house while browsing for publisher for my sister new novel. I'm not in my best look right now. Ok I admit that I really looked horrible right now. Something happened to my eyes. Yaa.. it's started with a small node at the up side of my eyes and then finally my eyes get rankling. And now I try to cover it with my hair. Yes I look like Genduruwo (I even don't know if I wrote it right), one of ghost in Indonesia's myth who always cover his/her (I don't know the gender) with the hair.
And then a young woman came. With a neat dress and just like the other "mba2 kantoran" she has a notebook bag with her and look at me like I'm really the true genduruwo. She order two set of breakfast. Quite obvious she has someone else will join her in a minute. And then a man come. He starts the conversation with cheapy talks about how the girl knows him so much as she ordered his fav coffee and breakfast menu. Eurrgghhh... (Am I sounded envious? ;p). And they start talking about office. About how the man become so busy bcoz the auditors are at his office right now (I can't help my self for not smiling) and many things all related to office life. Talking bout their friends who moved to the other bigger company and bla..bla..bla...
Well I'm not interested on what they are talking about right now. I put on the earphone but sadly I do not play any songs. I click the new browser tab on my mac and open the blogspot page start writing. A week ago I still sat down on my chair at the corner table at my office. A big company, with very good position and bright career path. Simply I dropped it bcoz I do not enjoy it anymore and I wanna try to do something else that makes me happy. Yes it's a combination of not enjoying what I'm doing and work pressure and load I guess. But it's weird that something that you have prepared for a whole year can be "shaked" by a week full of surprises and eye opening experiences. Seems like I was hit with a brick but rather than makes me feel hurt only, it also helps me to wake up and able to see clearly. It's about compromising. That you can't have what you want 100% just by one decision. It's a long journey with sacrifices. It's easy when you the only one player, but when it involves people you love, the story will be different. I also shud admit, that my heart is not that strong yet. The surprises come one by one this last two weeks help me to realize that I still need a few more time. But it's just weird they come at the last minute. Oh.. maybe it just to make the drama more dramatic I guess. Well, I do what I gotta do. Stand up again, clean up the mess and hope for the best. That life won't stop just bcoz feel pity on me. They still running with constant speed like usual. Yeah, they owe me nothing. They do not have any responsibility to wait for me.
The heart warmer, thanks God I still have them. A few people who support me always and teach me to still hold the dreams. It's not over yet they said. You just need to stand up again and make some compromises. Hey be thankfull. You've got a wonderfull life so far. Full of blessed. You just can't have what you want 100% in a click. I'm thinking about the offering right now. To live abroad with my brother. Far from parents and my sister. Share and entrust the dreams I've had here to people I trust. Huff... I don't know... I still need some more time I guess.
Ok, I've made a too much random notes I guess ;p What I do right now should be browsing the publisher and design the name card. But I ends up with writing. Like always :)
- SBO Sbux on Thursday -
