The "almost four years" story

It wasn’t started from me. It was you offering me something one day. The day where finally I decided to pay attention to you more.

Yes it was me who finally decided want to know you more. Don’t blame me if I’m good in research ;p, able to utilize the technology ;p and finally know you more than I expected. I even never imagine I would be come that far.

Don’t blame me if then I become kind of obsessed. It was you who never “appreciate” what I’ve “done”. I know all of them were so absurd and questionable, but Hey…! I was trying hard there. With all of the idiocy and strength I have off course…;p

Yes it was me that after quiet a long time, after I thought I’ve healed from all of those things, suddenly want to know what’s up with you. I was not that serious at that moment. I thought I did it just to kill my time.

It was not my fault off course. That I find out you worked in the same city with me. Worked so close in my world and place, met you again in exactly the same moment and condition just like the old stuff. I never asked for being that close to you. This life brought me there. I even cried every night for living my life at that moment. I didn’t think that way of life is a blessed. Even that way of life made me like “closer” to you. It was life that put me there. Giving me kind of hope, imagination, wishes that made me thought you are worth to fight.

I gave my effort! Just to make you remember all of the old stuff. I went further to your world. Know more, more and more. I got a sad news one day. Sad news that made me decided to went away from this craziness. But it didn’t stay long. Cause my heart could not stop singing! It told me to fight and enjoy these craziness. And I won! You changed and she gave up. Ahahhahaha…. Seemed like my doubt was answered. I thought it was me who changed you;p Ahahahhah…What a brave thought. Okay the truth was “I hope it was me who changed you”.

I kept that hope. Become more serious this time. Cause this feeling started driving my crazy! I want to make it clear. What is in your head actually. I prayed. I wanted to finish this craziness and made it become a real fun and worth story. I prayed. I prayed, prayed and prayed.

HE gave me the answer. It wasn’t me. It was her… The other “her”.

A part of me told me to still fight. But the other part told me it’s over. And deep down I know yes… It’s over.

Almost 4 years I guess. God allow me to keep you in my mind. Although now I’m not sure. Was it with HIS permission or just me that so stubborn… But this heart can’t stop singing at that moment. That’s the only reason I have…

Is this just a way to the other story? Or is this just a story of life that teach me and strengthen me?

Yes it wasn’t me. And deep down in my heart I know. It’s over….
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Dan dengan bodohnya masi pengen nyanyi “ looking back the way we first met. I can not escape and I can not forget. Baby you’re the one. You still turn me on. You can make me whole again…”